she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Randomize
