He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
