You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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