I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
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