Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
