and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
