he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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