My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
