So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
