It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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