so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
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oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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