Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
