I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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