Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
