he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
