i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
