So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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