Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
