if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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