Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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