can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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