I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Where is the hickey?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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