I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
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Short, black dress and a martini...?
Surprisingly you can order such a shirt by clicking the link right below this text...
A classy top and no pants
? short skirt, no panties...
go naked with a condom strapped to you. that should work.
A condom costume with earrings?
A bikini made of dental floss with wrapped condoms for the necessary solid bits.