How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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