Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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