maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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