What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
