i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
