2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
