Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
