afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize