Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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