DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am one with the molecules
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
