if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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