i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
