i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
