evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
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So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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