Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
