she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
