Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
