Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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(315): View more from New York

i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today

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(406): View more from Montana

I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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(317): View more from Indiana

The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Ya that ship has sailed dude

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(541): View more from Oregon

I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car

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(561): View more from Florida

Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car

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(803): View more from South Carolina

What the hell was that?

(251): View more from Alabama

Genius. It was sheer genius.

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