but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
