Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
