My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
