how can u be prego again
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
