Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
