My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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