I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
