Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
