went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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