wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
