Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
