there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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