can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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