belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
