so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
