I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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