If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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