Are we in a gay sports bar?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
