i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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