Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
