Do you still have your period?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
